Thursday, December 11, 2008

Explaining My Stalker to Normal People.

About Stalkers and Stalking
November 22nd, 2007 by mylenekeane

In these types of stalking cases, what victims need to understand is that there is no reasoning with stalkers. Just the fact that stalking - an unreasonable activity - has already begun, illustrates this fact. In other words, the only thing to say to the stalker is "no." No explanations, no time limits, no room to maneuver.

A victim should say "no" once and only once. The worst thing in the world for her is to be ignored. Think of little children: If they’re not getting the attention they want, they’ll act out and misbehave because even negative attention is better than none at all. Former talkers have their entire sense of self-worth caught up in the fact . Therefore, any evidence to the contrary is seen as merely an inconvenience to overcome. Since giving up her victim means giving up her self-worth, she is very unlikely to do so. Don’t help her hang on.

Delusional stalkers frequently have had little, if any, contact with their victims. They may have major mental illnesses like schizophrenia, manic-depression. What they all have in common is some false belief that keeps them tied to their victims.

The typical profile of delusional stalkers is that of a socially immature loner, who is unable to establish or sustain close relationships with others.

These delusional stalkers have almost always come from a background which was either emotionally barren or severely abusive. They grow up having a very poor sense of their own identities, thus the proliferation of many different pseudonyms. This, coupled with a predisposition toward psychosis, leads them to strive for satisfaction through another, yearning to merge with someone who is almost always perceived to be of a higher status (doctors, lawyers, teachers) or very socially desirable (celebrities). It is as if this stalker says, "Gee. If she notices me, I must not be so bad." As Dean Martin compellingly crooned what could be considered the delusional stalker’s anthem: "You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Likes You." It is not unusual for this type of stalker to believe that she is sending her cryptic messages through others.

Some studies show that delusional stalkers are the most tenacious of all. How is this possible when the stalker has had little if any contact with his victim? As if drawn from the National Organ Donor Registry, the victim becomes the perfect match, with the potential to save the stalker’s life. When the victim says "no," she rationalizes it away, believing that, "she really likes me," or "her agent told her it would be bad for her career if we dated, but she really loves me." Therefore, as with every type of stalker, it is imperative that victims have no contact.

The vengeful stalker become angry with their victims over some slight, real or imagined. Politicians, for example, get many of these types of stalkers who become angry over some piece of legislation or program the official sponsors. But, disgruntled ex-employees can also stalk, whether targeting their former bosses, co-workers or the entire company. These angry stalkers are psychopaths, i.e. people without conscience or remorse. Some are delusional, (most often paranoid), and believe that they, in fact, are the victims. They all stalk to "get even."

Former delusional stalkers can become vengeful for a variety of reasons.

In general, for any type of stalker, the less of a relationship that actually existed prior to the stalking, the more mentally disturbed the stalker.

I'd like to repeat to The Improper Adoptee:

I've asked her to leave me alone, to cease and desist, since she first typed her first abusive words to me. She has not once stopped. I would have to guess that I've asked over 50 times, possibly more than 75 requests. She on the other hand has not asked anything, but continued to post derogatory comments and libel, all the while laughing at my families hardships, things she finds out about by reading topics in hidden and private groups she managed to get her way into, and she's continued to post the most hideous lies and cruelty, especially to a mother of a toddler. She's nothing short of ruthless. She must feel a great sense of power when she blogs about a stranger in this way, and she must also feel pleasure. Inflicting pain and distress on others is this woman's drug for her illness.

Partial lyrics from a song by "The Police" (how appropriate!) to The Improper Adoptee, also known as StepFord Child, also known as Ms. M. M. from the coast of MA.

Every move you make
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
I'll be watching you

Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you


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